In some way, I thought I wouldn’t like you. I thought I would never be able to love you. I was angry my life would now be considered harder and it was such an inconvenience that you decided to stick this time. Why this time?
And then my mom died.. 6 months into my pregnancy. After that I realized why you had chosen me. You knew that I would have needed you. You knew that we would have needed each other.
I was reborn giving birth to you. It has taken me way too long to realize my true purpose-the true power that I have to create, hold and distribute as I see fit. You, being as tiny as you are, helped me to see this.
I never understood much of anything, especially my mother, who I’d lived with all of my life. And though she is no longer here, being your mother has brought me so much closer to mine. You have shown me how much she loved and loved and continued to love even through all of the pain and hardship and confusion.
I see now that I should never have worried about whether I were capable of loving you or showing up in the way that you would need me to. I have.. I will.. And I will always continue to.
For a mother’s love is unfathomable.
Well, I am a mother now. Thanks to you.
- Sarai, @5arais