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Advice Column Response 💌 Lacking Support & Stability.

I watched a sermon by Touré Roberts, & one thing that stuck with me from his video was “You need to be whole before relationships (he was speaking of intimate ones, but in the context of this response, I’ll be referring to both intimate & platonic) because if not, you’ll feel empty or like your world is falling apart [unstable] without those relationships.”

Your relationship & one sided friendships aren’t pouring into you as you need them to, but you are still responsible for pouring into yourself, so that when things aren’t as you knew them to be, you will still have a sense of stability & wholeness. I understand how it feels to not be receiving the support you need from either type of relationship, & how you can slowly go back into a low place feeling like they hear you but don’t FEEL you. I struggle with this as well, but each time I feel that way, I come out of it stronger with new knowledge. When you feel as if you have no one to confide in, look inward. All you need is within you. The answers/validation you desire from those you try reaching out to is already there, in YOU! Sometimes God doesn’t allow us the support or help from others; some storms you’re meant to go through alone to exercise your own strength & self-compassion. Even at times when you feel alone or weak in your circumstances, you can turn inward to find the strength of your Higher Power, for They are always with & in you. Cast all of your worries unto Them! Silence yourself, your mind, & those around you… & watch how you begin finding clarity, balance, & stability.

Affirmations for looking inward:

  • I find peace with the soothing silence of my inner soul.

  • I attract relationships that build me up.

  • I have people in my life that love me & are there for me; they are always with me in spirit.

  • I break through the illusion of loneliness, abandonment & emptiness.

  • Moments of solitude give me an opportunity to explore more about my faith/spirituality/dreams/truths.

  • If I cannot solve a problem on my own, I am resourceful enough to search out the answers.

  • I am worthy of self-acceptance and love; the acceptance of others is a bonus.

I recently went through a tough time in my relationship that drifted from what I knew. I had to surrender, & accept that shifts will always happen in life with any relationship. What “was done” (how your relationship was as you knew it to be) may need to be undone so that what your Higher Power “is doing” can emerge. I’m not necessarily saying your relationship has to end, especially since I don’t know the situation, BUT maybe it’s time for your mindset to be undone… let go of what it was without overthinking it as “falling apart” because things could be shifting in your relationship for new things (mindsets, love, growth) to emerge. Just ask “Am I fighting for what you did & missing what you are doing?” — there’s no need to stress/fight for something that is already figured out! I’m other words, don’t stress over what is not completely in your control. People change everyday, overtime.

You will be okay. I’m sending love & healing energy your way! Thank you for trusting us with your truth.


micayla <3

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