Advice Column Response 💌 Stuck in Old Habits.
First, I'd like to acknowledge your strength in knowing that you are meant to see your growth and progress thus far. I’m sure you know that though you feel as if you’re back square one, this is only to set you in place for a new & improved cycle. In my previous Mental Maintenance post “Alliteration” , I talked about repetition and how we can utilize it as a positive reinforcement! I mentioned how repetition can help you build and break habits.You can recognize that you’ve fallen back into a bad habit, which is far more progressive than you may think. In an effort to get back to work, I would advise you to get clear on how these habits impact you negatively and what ways you can shift the perspective to make them work for you, rather than against you. Start by showing up for yourself in small ways, with small things such as taking conscious breaths, eating fruit every morning, or even having a 1on1 conversation with Self. Do these things over and over again. Get comfortable setting new boundaries with yourself. Taking accountability for why you are where you are, instead of pointing the finger at outside influences. I’ve personally fallen back into bad habits and was disappointed, and blamed my surrounding circumstances, wondering why I would let myself back track the way I did. Saying things like “This wouldn’t have happened if they just..” “I couldn’t because I dont have…” etc… After knowing how to do better, I still didn't choose better. That’s when I realized it was a choice, all along. I had to constantly choose myself, and my goals. I began to have these conversations with myself, asking why I didn’t choose better and answering with honest responses. At first it may seem unusual, but vocalizing the changes you wish to see will hold you accountable. You actually heard yourself want to change, rather than just thinking about it and letting the thoughts pass as “ideas” , or “should’ve, could’ve, would’ve” phrases. Get rid of your alibis of “If only, I wish”. In my Mental Maintenance piece, I also mentioned how these things are not to enforce toxic positivity but to help you love yourself a little louder. “The love you pour into yourself will overflow into everything you do”, this is how you’ll begin again. Look at these things as outlets, and ways to elevate rather than a tedious task you have to complete. You are never stuck, in any place in life, Ranelle! As I love to say, energy is always in motion, around and within you. Find the stagnancy and give it a push. Push yourself out of your comfort zone. Do something that will set you so far ahead, that the “bad habit” is just a memory of who you used to be. What you used to allow. Let go of what was, so that your hands have room to receive !
You are in control of you. So step into your power