Updated: Jan 10, 2021
“Don’t be the girl that fell. Be the girl who got back up.” - Jenette Stanley
Have you ever felt stuck in your life? You felt like you weren’t making much progress compared to your peers. Has there been an obstacle that you found challenging to overcome? A lot of times, you can be so unmotivated & keep yourself in this low state. It’s very easy to get knocked down & feel stuck.
Don’t be the girl that fell & didn’t get back up... that girl was me. I used to be the girl that fell & did just that. Through years of coping with depression, I’ve constantly felt knocked down. Each time that I fell, it seemed like my depression held me hostage to the ground. I had no motivation to get back up. I didn’t believe that I was capable.
In 2016, I thought the only way to go was to give up. I was in a vulnerable stage where I didn’t know who I was or what I stood for, therefore, standing back on my two feet was simply a cloudy thought that couldn’t be put into action. In both October & December, I attempted to commit suicide & was admitted to two different mental hospitals each time.
It wasn’t until I had no choice BUT to get back up that I did. I started to see everything around me differently. It was like I was watching life from a window, & I saw everyone else UP living, being productive, & reaching their goals. What I didn’t see was someone trying to pick me up off the ground. That’s when I came to the realization that nobody was going to get me up from this fall but myself.
I knew that it all began with me. I had to list out the things I wanted to accomplish in life. It was disappointing to see that ever since falling, I haven’t gotten anywhere close to fulfilling those aspirations. Even at this time, I still didn’t know how to go about getting up. I still had very little motivation to get up, but I knew that the only motivation that would be effective was self motivation. Positive affirmations are what helped me gain motivation. “Today will be a better day.” “I feel happy. I feel healthy. I am ready for today.” “It’s okay not to be okay.” It may sound silly, but every single day I had to tell myself these things. I looked myself in the mirror & said them. Some days I had to scream them because on those days I felt too comfortable on the ground, so it took more to motivate me to get up. Shutting out negative thoughts is the most crucial step into getting back up.
Getting up is such a relief once you accomplish it, but just because you got up once doesn’t mean you won’t ever fall again. I remember how confident I felt once I got up; I guess I forgot that life happens & there’s always going to be good & bad, but you have to learn how to take the bad for what it is & let the good come. I’ve fallen again many times. The most recent was this year, a few months ago. I was overwhelmed by the responsibilities I had to obtain on my own. After being kicked out right at turning 18 & moving 2 hours away without telling my family, I eventually got to a point where I thought about every aspect of my life. I thought about everything that was wrong with my life, & I became hopelessly depressed. This feeling is what made me fall. Once again, I became unproductive. I built up a lot of anger in my heart towards everyone. I felt beaten up— defeated. For all of June, I laid in bed & let time pass without even realizing that I’ve fallen like this before, & I could get back up again. I decided to put forth effort into getting back up.
I still haven’t gotten back up completely, but at least this time after falling, I knew that I could get back up. I no longer consider myself the girl who fell & didn’t get back up. I’m the girl who fell once & got back up. I’m the girl who will strive to get back up when she falls again.
You can be that girl too.