I’ve spoken a lot on friendships & how they tend to not work out for me, but it took me until today years old to understand that I've viewed these experiences from the perspective of ego & not authentic self —
taking shit personally & feeling betrayed when those people betrayed nobody but themselves. I boosted my own ego telling myself that all people had ill intentions & only liked my presence’s benefits, but authentic self knows that my presence only boosted their ego’s insecurities... not everyone was only here to take or even be against me.
It actually has nothing to do with me.
I’ve shifted this lonely cycle of thinking because in fact, people see me in high regards. Although my feelings are valid & the hurt I feel is valid, I have to hold myself accountable for continuing to experience these types of friendships. The outcome is negative because I claim that energy from the beginning. If I didn’t automatically think that everyone’s intentions were ill, I would attract people who match the energy I'm desiring.
Instead of overextending myself hoping to see the good in myself in other people, I will simply have to carry myself at a higher regard, & INNERstand that I am worth a connection that pours back into me! Quoted from Jhene Aiko, “Hell can be other people, or the lack thereof”, so why not surround myself with people who make the world around me feel like Heaven on Earth & find peace & comfort in solitude.