“When I heal the connection with myself I heal my connection with the world”
I’ve gotten so used to being resilient… taking whatever life throws at me & overcoming it, then proceeding. This resilience used to be admirable, one of my most proud characteristics, but now I’ve realized how my desire to maintain this resilience has turned into me neglecting acceptance of my truths & suppressing them. I’ve manipulated my mind to no longer feel when speaking. I can tell my story with this false sense of confidence & strength. I moved on from these experiences, which healed ego, but did nothing for my inner child. She’s not the resilient me. She couldnt fully grasp the knowledge that ego took in. Truthfully, she’s still hurt.
As I’m letting my ego die, I’m becoming more aware of my desperate need of healing. It seems like I’ve been doing everything else needed to transition into my higher self, yet I’m still not her. I can’t show up as her until I heal every part of me that makes up her.
Those damaged parts are hindering me from fully stepping into her season. What should’ve been passing emotions became the identity of my spirit because I let ego take control. Comfortability in stagnant environments grew because I became numb. If my spirit would’ve received the knowledge from life’s lessons first, then the strategy in creativity that would allow her to be manifested could follow. Our mind starts looking for what our spirit agreed to — take control of your spirit.
Now I know that I can’t execute her with the weight of my unhealed trauma because others will begin to see through the facade. I must honor my growth & appreciate everything old versions of me who went through what had to be experienced to become her. I no longer want to live my purpose in spite of what those versions [inner child] went through... for there’s nothing needed to prove or validate my resilience. It will show through her effortlessly.