Lately, I’ve noticed I’ve been in mourning of who I used to be, and who I thought I should be. This new discovery has caused happiness, sadness, & just an overall influx of emotions for me to process, leading me deeper to my destined path. I’ve been thinking of how certain people I’ve met led me to remember who I am and how it’s bigger than just me. Face to face with my old self, and on the other side was my destiny. I’ve always stood firmly on not becoming who society wanted me to be and so I began to cling to this specific version of me. There is a perfectionist that lives within me, she also likes to pick apart my flaws. That’s one of the parts of myself that has to go. I can no longer carry baggage that weighs me down, especially in my new chapter. I’m now a minimalist mentally, thanks to my mental diet consisting of positive self talk, acceptance, & affirmations to remind my mind of what I deserve and what I came here to do.
Realizing what I don’t like about myself, or what still needs to be worked on and actually having enough accountability to desire change within. Let’s me know I’m doing it right, even if sometimes I’m hard on myself. This is how I’ve leveled up in each stage of my life. By letting go and having compassion for myself. By not wanting to control it all and just trusting the plan God has for me. It all started with patience, mental discipline, and the feeling of wanting to expand. If I was to never want to be better, I wouldn’t be able to be a new version of myself. It’s within complacency and avoidance where we miss the most valuable lessons. Then wonder why it feels like life is passing us by.
Sometimes those lessons will have to be repeated until it really sticks. I’ve been in a very long loop of putting others before myself, this is another aspect I’m currently letting go of. This time my needs come first, because that’s the only way I can truly add value. You can’t extend energy if you don’t have any to give. Otherwise you’ll just be over extending yourself. I can admit it’s a little strange, having to learn how to put yourself first later on in life. I feel like it should be innate, but it’s okay to be selfish sometimes. I’m realizing this is where all my freedom and happiness lies, within centering myself, & shifting my focus from always helping. Right now the term “main character” is being popularized and I agree, the timing couldn’t be any more perfect.
Tap out of everyone else and begin to tap into you. With out the constraints of the outside world, I’m able to fully self actualize and see what I want to experience. Now that I know what I truly want and it’s not based off my family or society, I’m able to put myself in a position to live that on a daily basis. It’s true when they say “You can’t help others, unless you help yourself”. All it takes is devotion and appreciation for what God took me through just to get here, as well as faith. I’ll always have faith because a year ago I didn’t have this amount of love for myself a year ago I didn’t have this godfidence either, but it’s through reminders, evidence and the things unseen. The inner knowing I feel that allows me to trust in unknown. It’s what I’ve already transmuted that let’s me know I can continue to do this. I feel everyone deserves to let them selves go and experience rebirth as many times as they need. Free your spirit, and free your soul so you can grow.