Updated: Nov 19, 2021

I have been a lucky racehorse for almost my entire life. Constantly being conditioned to endure more and more, while assuming it equates to strength, focus, and success. Being a lucky racehorse goes deeper than being the winner. I realized that I haven’t been lucky at all; that's just how others perceive it when they benefit from my winnings. People rely on me more than I rely on myself. Every race isn't the same and how I execute the race changes each time.

But to the audience, they think I'm executing the same way with no problem. They believe that I just finish first and that I run the fastest, but that isn’t the case at all. The harsh reality of the lucky horse is that it’s far from lucky. Sometimes the horse starves for days just to get a winner's meal. Sometimes the horse is abandoned, neglected, and locked away because it only has enough freedom to practice for the race. This lucky horse is one of one and its family is small or isolated from this horse just for it to perform better, because family becomes a blockage and distraction. It may take decades to find one like it. This lucky horse adjusts to uncomfortable conditions like high winds, snow, and rain and is expected to run as fast as possible with no upgrades or gear, in the same horseshoes from the last race. As lucky horse races, it constantly looks up at the audience and how they're prepared for any climate. Maybe they have a poncho, an umbrella, boots, you name it, they have it! But as a lucky winning horse, you're taught to look ahead, never look to your sides or back, because you will lose your focus and slow down. Maybe that's why the lucky horse has issues making new connections. As a lucky horse, I am expected to persevere through anything and everything at any time, but sometimes all I want is nurturing, affirmation, and genuine support to motivate me to cross the finish line. A lack of boundaries and transparency is what landed me in this position. Being conditioned to just listen and observe without using my voice has done nothing for me but get me yanked around. People will only ride on your back as long as you allow them to. Even if that means Mid-race, I need some water. I will not be moving forward until water is provided for me because I'm the lucky horse, not the riders who lock me in a stable for hours at a time. Sacrifice and pure empathy are why, as a lucky horse, I am a winner on the track but a loser in my reality.

I realized how much I would sacrifice and make myself understand just to please the audience, gamblers, the trainers, and the world. I finished the race because I wouldn’t dare embarrass my trainer or the crowds of people "routing for me." They call me lucky, but I will call it fate because people call me lucky to belittle my hard work, efforts, pains, and truths. I am only lucky for them because they did not expect me to become a winner under the circumstances and with the little resources I did have. They call me lucky when they bet on me when another horse is injured, sick, or unavailable. They call me lucky when they see my exhaustion midrace and give up on me right before I charge through the finish line. They call me lucky when they get lucky. I am not just a lucky horse, I am a depiction of the Divine. Call me Lucky 777. The symbol of intuition and inner wisdom, known for its manifestations and good fortunes.

Hadez @bigdeeldeezy

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