Poise Zen

Femininity has been reframed as time goes on, but it is so much deeper than appearance and pussy. Femininity is an energy, an embodiment of Venus and the strength and discipline of Saturn, wrapped in the desires of the entire world. When I think of femininity, I think of my fertility and ability to nurture myself and my life; the ability to create not only a life but experiences and outcomes. I think of planting seeds with everything I put my energy into. I think of validity in everything I decide for myself, all while having a “validate me not” mindset, as I begin to poise myself instead of generations of lack mindsets who would simply not understand. Being so balanced and sure of yourself that you allow your soul to express itself through your body. Turning up the heat unexpectedly, expressing my true desires without a lens of guilt.


People will shame you and guilt-trip you into literally covering up, but do you need to cover up? Or are they blocking your shine? Is it too much cleavage, or is your aura naturally attractive to everyone in the room? We can all admit to giving our power away, our bodies, our vessels, simply to be desired, loved, nurtured by someone else. What we tend to lack is an appreciation for ourselves, our desires, and needs. The issue is usually relying on any and everyone but ourselves to fulfill our needs. Sometimes life becomes foggy under the craziest circumstances of constantly giving our power away, but how do we recover, heal and work our way up? Ideally, we love to swipe our cards, splurge on foods to eat, order prime shipping, get that lobster, smoke our weed, sip our sip and hope that things get better.


There is a thin line between self-love and self-care. Self-love is knowing who you are in every aspect. It’s putting your energy, desires, aspirations, and mentality before anyone or anybody. Self-love is freeing yourself from judgment, healing wounds, being patient with yourself, placing acceptance in your life for the good and bad. Loving yourself looks like commitment, standing firm on what's right for you, not being persuaded to change aspects of yourself for anyone but you. These things feel so good, nostalgic at times. Sometimes they keep us connected to the same people or things we said we don’t resonate with. That leads to breaking the same boundaries you’ve talked about to yourself. What’s worse than going back on your word? Not knowing if you’ll ever commit to YOURSELF. We’ve all been there, but how many people have to experience these types of situations before we finally agree that enough is enough.


A few things I do to take my power back and poise myself and others with goddess energy is remind myself that godliness is next to cleanliness. Whenever my aura is dirty, my mental health is low, my thoughts are scrambled or I’m overthinking, I shower and bathe. I affirm myself with compliments I love to hear, mantras of femininity, or money attracting. I clear my space and set my mind to attract and treat myself as I desire to be, being spontaneous with myself and my body and surrendering to any schedules or expectations put on me. This of course looks like abandoning your post as a “Strong Black Woman” but my higher self says “f**k it”. It’s talking to myself as long as I’d like, doing what I genuinely want, appreciating myself through committing to myself. If you're going to spend money, spend it on things that matter to you instead of the miscellaneous to fill your void. Get that tapestry you want, get your hair done, buy some crystals, books, etc.


Love and poise yourself because you will never be able to resonate with anything or anyone if you aren’t fulfilled. Love can be shared amongst others and you shouldn’t have a hard time sharing it. The love you give to yourself extends that same love for others. Self-love doesn’t have to be complicated, but we make it that way. Poise yourself!


Hadez @thebiggestdeezy

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Even if you aren’t where you want to be or who you want to become, understand that this version of you is still so worthy of love.