We do not recognize a lot of our life experiences are not linear. We often feel like we’re taking 7 steps back and 2 steps forward when it comes to mental stability and experiencing emotion. Mental stability and healing are not linear, nor are they the type of things you will perfect. As long as there’s progression, you are guaranteed to grow.
I am frequently greeting new moments in my life that propel me into a blissful state of mind but that does not mean that feeling sad, disappointed, confused or lost, are emotions to dismiss. When it comes down to it, this is all of our first time on this journey called life. We all have hardships and bags to unpack. I simultaneously experience Sonder with a side of main character syndrome at times, getting so caught in my own personal lense, that I forget that I have an equally as intricate of life, as the people around me. My mental state isn’t going to be the same every single day, at every given second. There are going to be times where I have to look in my reflection and see that I need to take two steps back.
There are going to be times where I feel like I’m spiraling out of control, my emotions are all over the place, I don’t know what to do with myself. This is a moment for me to reflect and inner stand that I am actually able to experience all of these emotions. Instead of despising the feeling of going through it, I embrace the fact that I can even experience such things. I get fixated on constantly trying to be positive and prove that I’m evolving, that I forget I am allowed to have bad days. I am allowed to not feel good and I am allowed to not want to do something. Just because somebody has it worse or has it better, doesn’t mean that the place that I am currently in, is invalidated, for we exist in different timelines.
Sonder plays into this by allowing me to see that my highly calculated chess moves may benefit me, but are also causing disruption elsewhere. I am still the catalyst to someone else’s experience here on earth, just as they are to mine. I am not perfect, I don’t know the answers to a lot of the world’s wonders. I can use my intuition or ask someone a few questions but it’s all a matter of exploration and experience. I’m going to get things wrong, have to start over but this time I’ll have the knowledge to help make forward movement. I’m going to run into the worry but I don’t have to claim it. It’s not about getting this “life” thing right, or about being a perfectionist, but being a progressionist.