I’m elevating and growing into my destiny, destined timelines, undergoing another ascension. In my hermit mode, I’ve been calling back my energy and taking back what belongs to me. Even when it comes to those closest to me. Lately, I’ve been feeling disconnected from my inner world, and sometimes the world around me, causing this longing to reconnect in nature. I’ve been realizing just how much time I spend indoors and being trapped within the four walls of my space, just to be trapped between another four walls at work becomes draining and too routine. I lose my footing and become a part of the system, which is out of alignment. I had to confront my functioning depression, as I have not taken care of myself the way I need to be taken care of. I fell off with my full, in-depth self-care routines, for my physical and spiritual body. Taking back my energy meant pulling back from online astrology and tarot to fully reestablish my inner voice, my intuition, my High Priestess. As I’m coming into this new sense of self, it’s had me sleeping a lot more and having premonitions, actual astral projection, and lucid dreaming. The greatest amounts of healing and clarity came to me when I fully surrendered to what God and the Divine were orchestrating for me. I had to accept that I AM the problem sometimes and pointing the finger only hinders my healing process, as I'm going to keep repeating the cycle until I can fully integrate the lesson. My current reality is a manifestation of my past thoughts, and so to manifest my future, I have to put my dreams and plans into action. The Hermit is defined by mediation and solitude, stepping back from your day-to-day life and focusing on your inner reality. Becoming more self-aware and spending time alone, finding that inner fire. The High Priestess is psychic wisdom and mystery. She uses silence and non-action to harness her power. She is a reminder to listen more closely to the voice within you and find what’s being secret or hidden. Acknowledging your shadow! This is how I’ve embodied the two while rewiring my truths.
I took a long break away from my usual routine of creating, turning to other forms of artistic expression. There was a need to recoil back into my shell and lead by my light. The chaos of others’ opinions and Artificial Intelligence telling me its version of right from wrong began to cloud my judgment and it became a weight I was subconsciously bearing. I had to rediscover my voice, and distinguish my thoughts from the ideas I overthought, even oversought from outsiders. While in Hermit mode, I began to realize just how much I was holding myself back and not taking the opportunities presented to me. Divine timing was ready for me but I wasn’t ready for her, I retreated and moved painfully slow, which I understand that being allowed to do. How am I to show up for the world and can barely show up for myself? I began a weight gain journey, a yoga routine, a health regimen, and writing techniques that allowed me to push those mental limitations I had gotten too accustomed to while in solitude. I redefined what my spirituality looked like to me and how I practice showing up for myself. I went back to refine my business and started back at the very beginning. I'm relearning those foundational parts of myself starting with the roots in my feet, to the roots in my crown. Until I understand what’s meant for me, my guidance will merely reflect things I just need to hear for myself and though it’s equally as healing, I know that I can do more. I can excel and reach beyond my normal expectations and be extraordinary. I can write as my present self and not always form a perspective of which I’ve never seen with my own eyes, or even a past that I’ve outgrown yet seem to live in for comfort. Manifestation isn’t the only gateway to greatness, your future won’t exist without a functioning presence. I decided to choose ‘today’.
The noise honestly becomes unbearable. So many opinions and regurgitated information, it’s like we’re all aiming to be heard without actually listening to each other. This is why I chose silence for so long. My silence is just as loud as my voice, and I only want to use my voice to talk about what’s truly on my heart, not to maintain a surface-based conversation. I don’t make excuses for people anymore, or myself for that matter. How we show up for the world should be accepted as our current state rather than a permanent image and I want my image to reflect exactly who I am, not who I’m expected to be. I took a lot of time having meaningful conversations with people I had predetermined judgments about and I was proved to have been needing to be less judgmental and more discerning. I was able to fully and whole authentically express myself, jumping into and from topics I wouldn’t dare bring up unless I knew your third eye could see the frequency of those sentence structures. See it’s not the word that holds power, but the power is in how you use the word, thus bringing me back to where I know I hold the most power. In my writing. It’s concrete evidence of my thoughts, feelings, and experiences. Documentation of my constant evolution and transcendence. I write because words heal, for if it serves me to express, it may serve someone else to read.
A piece of me still isn’t fully ready to come back, it’s as though I've completed the transition but the cocoon isn’t completely ready to release me yet. This isn’t meant to be educational, this is a spiritual truth, my spiritual truth. I don’t have to fit into anyone’s mold of who to be and how to express my spiritual self. I don’t need the approval of outsiders to tell me when to go. I’ve held myself back for so long, feeling like I needed to make sure people were comfortable enough to receive me and I wholeheartedly released that notion. If who I am makes you uncomfortable, that’s not an inch of my problem to deal with. If my name, my presence, my truths are a mouthful, respectfully, choke. I rewired my truths. I live in them, vicariously, thus creating a new chapter in my inner book. I am reborn and rising like the Phoenix.
The EtheReal Writer, Teyeshai.
@indiyatyshai | @teyeshaisacredcircle